Who are you NOT to call yourself a Leader?
Would you call yourself a Leader?
I’ve asked that question many times and not one Mum has responded that they would call themselves a Leader. Not without further explanation anyway. It is just not part of the Motherhood narrative.
We have made Leadership into something bigger than us, something beyond us, about changing the world, a title that one day we might deserve. But to call ourselves Leaders right now means a level of arrogance or pride that we are simply not comfortable with.
I worry sometimes that we spend so much time celebrating amazing things that only a few can do, that we devalue the amazing things that we Mums do everyday.
And when there are moments where we could truly call ourselves a Leader and we don’t take credit for them, and we don’t let ourselves feel good about it.
I have explored the concept of Leadership for most of my adult life.
And I can redefine Leader for you right now.
A friend of mine with a teenager recently told me that back in our small baby days she always felt better after spending time with me and my children. Why? Because when she was with me she felt like she was a ‘good enough mum’. That my style of parenting and the way I talked about Motherhood reflected back to her that she was also doing a good job.
I don’t even remember it is that she is specifically referring to. It doesn’t even matter.
what matters is that she was able to take away a sense of doing a ‘good enough’ job. Hell, she was probably doing a brilliant job! But we Mums are so hard on ourselves aren’t we?
Think for a moment about a time where you may have made someone’s day a bit better, where you showed a Mum some kindness, or simply listened and reassured another Mum.
That moment then, that moment when you did something so small you might not even remember it. That was Leadership.
You are a leader but you just haven’t been told it yet.
It can be frightening to know that we matter that much to other people.
As long as Leadership is something bigger than us, as long as it is beyond us, as long as it is about changing the world then we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it everyday from ourselves and from each other.
My call to action is that we need to get over that, we need to get over our fear of how extraordinarily powerful we can be, in our families lives, in each others lives, we need to get over it so we can get beyond it, and so that our children can one day understand the impact that Mums can have on each others lives, more than money, titles, power and ‘influence’.
We need to redefine Leadership as being about the moments of Leadership we create, acknowledge and how many we say thank you for.
Because we have made Leadership about changing the world, and there is no world bigger than your own family.
If by writing this I change one mum’s understanding of how powerful she can be as a Leader, what she is capable of, how much people care about her, what a powerful agent for change she can be in this world, then I have changed everything.
Finally, I say this to all mums, who are you not to call yourself a Leader?