Why having confidence in your choices is key - as long as you are prepared to accept that you might change your mind tomorrow
When my daughter was born (she's now 15!), I naturally wanted the best for her.
I swore by breast-is-best before she was even born and fortunately (and with much tenacity on my part) breast feeding worked for us really well. And with this ticked off the list we happily and confidently continued into our blissful early parenting days.
Together, The Husband and I also had many other ideas, values and ideals that we applied to our parenting.
No plastic toys!
She will wear black and not pink!
And other such ridiculousness. And it was only as she grew that these notions gradually slipped away as the realities of parenting hit us.
The parenting journey is genuinely humbling.
All the high ideas that you can have going in without a clue, only to be met with a reality that is often VERY different.
One that I took particularly hard though was around her eating. I was very much drawn to the weaning ideas of Anabel Karmel and all the organic home made food I was going to make her, and so as weaning time grew near I prepped and blended and froze those precious icecubes to my heart's delight. Peas! Sweet potato! Pear! I had a freezer drawer full of nutritious organic deliciousness, but would she eat it? NO!
She refused almost everything. And I tried everything. I felt so guilty that I was FAILING her! Bribery. Mixing food with breast milk. Disguising food within yoghurt. But no, she was onto me. And so I relented. I let her lead me. And I realised how much happier we both were. And more importantly for my own Motherhood journey; That there is no failure, just learning.
In fact, she settled into a happy rhythm of eating only yoghurt, sausages and strawberries (and breast milk) until she was 18 months old and she discovered PASTA!
But I did still worry about her diet and so I took my baby and my worries to a dietitian, who assured me that as she was active and growing and healthy I had nothing to worry about. And so I continued to let my baby lead me.
And it was a lesson well learnt.
Be confident in your values, ideal and choices. But be prepared to adjust them, be prepared to work with the reality of a given situation.
Your parenting choices are yours to make for you and your children. As long as you can accept that you may need to change your choices as reality comes along to test you.
And sometimes, just sometimes, you need to let your children Lead you.